9. oktober 2017
15.00

Družine drugače

Pogovor / 90'

Kdo v Sloveniji sme biti starš in kdo je brez otrok proti svoji volji zaradi pravnih ovir? Kako podružbiti starševsko skrb onkraj širšega sorodstva in institucij? Kako se upreti idealizaciji in esencializaciji materinstva? V kakšnih oblikah družin živimo in kakšnih družin bi si želeli? O tem bomo razpravljale_i ob konservativnih in liberalnih stališčih ter navkljub le-tem, ki nam želijo narekovati svoje odgovore.

Javne razprave o tem, kaj je družina in kdo sme biti starš, v Sloveniji danes narekuje konservativizem. Pri tem je tako uspešen, da se je usidral v zakone, ki jih najbolj boleče izkušajo samske ženske ter lezbični in gejevski pari, ki si želijo otrok. Liberalna stališča so blažja, a zamejena s predstavo o družini kot skupnosti dveh odraslih, po možnosti zakoncev, ki svoji karieri uspešno združujeta z vzgojo največ dveh otrok.  

Nič ne pomaga, da temu ne ustreza niti statistika. Ta od leta 1981 v Sloveniji kot družino obravnava tudi zunajzakonsko skupnost in neporočene matere – in leta 2015 se je v takih družinah rodilo skoraj 60 % vseh otrok, pri čemer je bila četrtina vseh družin enostarševska. Od leta 2015 med družine končno umešča tudi istospolne partnerske skupnosti z otroki. Toda obstajajo še druge oblike družin, ki niso zajete v statistike in zakone. Na primer, starševsko vlogo lahko privzame več ljudi: v razširjenih večgeneracijskih družinah so to krvne_i sorodnice_ki, v samoorganiziranih skupnostih političnih sorodnic_kov so to prijateljice_i in tovarišice_i, v poliamoričnih zvezah pa več partnerjev ali partnerk.

Na javnem pogovoru bomo izhajali iz pravne definicije družine in se vprašali, ali Ustava RS v 53. členu res varuje tudi lezbične in gejevske družine ter ustvarja »za to varstvo potrebne razmere«. Vprašali se bomo, ali je odločanje o rojstvih otrok svobodno, če država celi vrsti žensk prepoveduje zanositev s postopkom umetne oploditve, in kaj to pomeni za ženske, ki v teh razmerah kljub vsemu postajajo matere.

Kako se soočiti s silnim idealiziranjem in esencializiranjem materinstva? V kakšnih oblikah družin živimo in kakšnih družin bi si želele_i? In kako podružbiti starševstvo onkraj vrtcev in šol na načine, ki bodo vzgojno, skrbstveno in gospodinjsko delo iz zasebne sfere premestili tja, kjer vedno tudi že obstaja: v družbo?  

Vabimo vas k izmenjavi izkušenj in stališč o družini in starševstvu onkraj konservativnih in liberalnih okvirov ob obstoječih pravnoformalnih ovirah in navkljub le-tem.

Moderatorka: Tea Hvala
Gostje_i: Anna Linder (Švedska), Roman Kuhar, Maja Šorli, Estela Žutić, Gilles Duvivier (Slovenija)

// v angleščini //

Vstop prost.

V okviru projekta Uprizarjati spol - ples razlik.

Produkcija in organizacija: Mesto žensk. V sodelovanju z Bunker.

Video

Families otherwise

Discussion / 90'

Who in Slovenia can be a parent and who is childless against their
will due to legal obstacles? How to render parenthood a social matter,
beyond wider blood relations and institutions? How to revolt against the
idealisation and essentialisation of motherhood? In what kinds of
family forms do we live and what kinds of family forms would we want? We
shall be discussing all these questions, despite conservative and
liberal standpoints that would dictate their answers to us.

Today, in Slovenia, public discussions about what a family
is and who can be a parent are dictated by conservatism. It has been so
successful at it, that it has anchored itself into laws that have been
experienced most painfully by single women and lesbian and gay couples
who want children. Although liberal standpoints are gentler, they are
limited to the perception of a family being a community of two
grown-ups, if possible, spouses, who are successfully joining their
careers with the upbringing of, at most, two kids.

The fact that the statistics does not correspond to this
does not help. Since 1981, it considers also extramarital and unmarried
mothers as family – and in 2015, almost 60% of all children were born in
such families, out of which one-fourth were single-parent families.
Since 2015, same-sex partner communities with children have finally been
included into families. But there exist also other forms of families,
which are not included into the statistics and laws. For instance, more
people can take on the parental role: in extended multi-generational
families, these include blood relatives, whereas in self-organised
communities of political relatives, these are friends and comrades,
whilst, moreover, in polyamorous relations, these are more partners.

The public discussion will be based on the legal definition
of family. We shall ask ourselves whether Article 53 of the Slovenia’s
constitution indeed also protects lesbian and gay families, and whether
it creates the ‘necessary conditions for this protection.’ We will ask
ourselves whether deciding on giving birth really is a free choice when
the government is preventing a whole segment of the women population
from getting pregnant by means of artificial insemination, and,
moreover, what this means for women who are, nevertheless, becoming
mothers in such circumstances.

How do we face this extreme idealisation and
essentialisation of motherhood? In what forms of families do we live and
what kinds of families would we want? Moreover, how do we render
parenthood a social matter beyond kindergartens and schools, displacing
care work and housework from the personal sphere, where it has always
already been, into society?

We invite you to join the exchange of experiences and
standpoints about family and parenthood beyond conservative and liberal
frameworks, alongside and regardless of the existing formal legal
obstacles.

Moderator: Tea Hvala
Guests: Anna Linder (Sweden), Roman Kuhar, Maja Šorli, Estela Žutić, Gilles Duvivier (Slovenia)

// in English //

In frame of the project Performing Gender - Dance makes differences.

Production and organization: City of Women. In cooperation with Bunker.